Saturday, February 28, 2004

Why the flames?

There is a wall between the blogger and the reader.. there is that gap of invisibility that creates an allusion of privacy for the blogger and anonymity to the reader. I have seen some bloggers write deep heartfelt things to say, thinking that their own personal blog was their domain. And then the readers come in and blast away behind this wall and think they can get away with condemning words and hurtful statements. Most of the time, interestingly enough, these hurtful words are said in terms of "I just want to teach you.. or point something out..". I don't think I will ever understand the reader flames on a personal blog.. in a public arena where the comments are said to generate discussion and/or debate, then the writer is prepared to deal with the controversy. But in ones' own life, where you may be spilling out a hurt that you have.. to be flamed and blasted for that.. seems crazy to me.

 

Friday, February 27, 2004

I saw The Passion last night with Morgan..And I started crying in the first scene and it barely let up till the credits..Which may or may not happen to you as it's easy for me to cry for other's pain.

These are some thoughts that went through my mind as I watched it:

*Jesus' eyes were piercing.. and he looked people in the eye.. and you can see He loved people.

*Mary must have been an amazing woman.

*It must be the worst to be a mom, seeing 'your little boy' being in pain, and being helpless to save him.

*He would call me His friend... totally awesome thought..

*It wasn't the Jews that killed him... it was my sin.. totally painful thought...

*Hell will not be hot enough for satan...

*I sure do love my Lord...

*and last...HA! We win!

 

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

A tribute to my kids...

There is a saying that your kids are not really yours, they are just on loan from God. I stand back at times and know how true that is. I can see God working in you in ways I could never have done. I am so proud of you.
I am proud when I see you study the Bible to see what really is in there for yourself. I am proud when I see you tackle a new project whether it is computers, or crafts, or building things and figure out how to make it work. I am proud when I see you reach out to others to encourage them in their hurt, and at times when you are still hurting yourself. I am proud of your accomplishments, and your perseverance, and your compassion.
I am proud of you for just being yourself... not for being who you think I want you to be.. or who others think you should be.. but for figuring out who God wants you to be and standing firm in that.
I have dreams and hopes for you... but they are not an agenda. It's just a mom's heart wanting the best for her kids. When I see you hurt, I hurt. When I see you cry, my heart breaks. I wish I could hold you like a little one again and wipe the sore and make it better. But now, you that are older, have to walk hard paths sometimes, and my mother's heart breaks because I feel helpless.
I know that the strong wind will make your roots go deeper, and make you stronger... so I step back and let God be your God.
God and I have many talks about you... He knows all of my wishes for you... and He tells me how much He loves you and wants the best for you even more than I. I get so excited when I think about your future.. not because there won't be hard times one way or another... but because I have been a small part of God's plan for you to become a better person.
My love for you is different than any other love you will find. It's not the romantic love of marriage, or the conditional love of a friend. It is as close to unconditional love that I know of. The love that says it doesn't matter who you were yesterday, or what you will become tomorrow. But for who you are today. Not for things you have done or will do.. but just being you. There are no strings attached, no agendas to keep track of, no expectations that will adjust how I feel. I just love you because you are you. And I am so honored to be your mom.

from Arnold's blog...

Jesus is the Great I AM ...

Because of grace in Christ I am...


I am the salt of the earth. (Mt 5:13)
I am the light of the world. (Mt 5:14)
I am a child of God. (Jn 1:12)
I am part of the vine, a channel of Christ's life. (Jn 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend. (Jn 15:15)
I am Chosen and Appointed by Christ to bear his fruit. (Jn 15:16)
I am a slave of righteousness. (Mt 5:13, Rom 6:18)
I am enslaved to God. (Rom 6:22)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father. (Rom 8:14-15; Gal 3:26; Gal 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing his inheritance with him. (Rom 8:17)
I am a temple and a dwelling place of God. His spirit and his life dwells in me. (1 Cor 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with him. (1 Cor 6:17)
I am a member of Christ's body. (1 Cor 12:27; Eph 5:30)
I am a new creation. (2 Cor 5:18-19)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation. (2 Cor 5:18-19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ. (Gal 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God. (Gal 4:6-7)
I am a saint. (Eph 1:1; 1 Cor 1:2; Col 1:2)
I am God's workmanship. (Eph 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family. (Eph 2:19)
I am a prisoner of Christ. (Eph 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy. (Eph 4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now. (Phil 3:20;Eph 2:6)
I am hidden with Christ in God. (Col 3:3)
I am the expression of the life of Christ because he is my life. (Col 3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved. (Col 3:12;1 Thess 1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness. (1 Thes 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling. (Heb 3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in his life (Heb 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house. (1 Pet 2:9-10)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession. (1 Pet 2:9-10)
I am an alien and stranger to this world in which I temporarily live. (1 Pet 2:11)
I am an enemy of the devil. (1 Pet 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns. (1 Jn 3:1-2)
I am born of Christ and the evil one, the devil, cannot touch me. (1 Jn 5:18)

 

Monday, February 23, 2004

Conclusions

There are some conclusions that I have been able to draw for myself that has been very good. Lately, I have been challenged in various ways in my walk and faith in God. Challenged to think past what I have been comfortable with and see ways God might want me to grow. There have been some that I have realized that I had been holding myself back and needed to grow some.

But there are other's that I have looked at and have decided that my original belief or thought process was where I want to stay and that has been good too.

The first one was in the Creation Account. To be honest, that one is really staying in the group where I put the End Times. Since I wasn't there, I am not ready to state whether He took 6 days 10,000 years ago, or 6 million years to create the world, but I can say without a doubt that I believe that God did create the world without the help of Evolution. Now I know that things evolve and adapt.. but they do not Evolve. That may seem like a small conclusion, but in the group of young adults that I have been with lately, it is a huge conclusion to stand firm in.
Plus the added sidebar of realizing those who believe that God used the same ages that scientist have found naturally, as in millions of years, are strong walking Christians that hold to the Truth in the Bible as much as those who hold to the literal interpretation of the 6 days.

Another conclusion is with the canons of the Bible. The initial draw into the study was by some that were questioning whether or not all of the books that were chosen were the correct ones for the Bible. To be honest, I still am not sure why the question really comes up. If someone wants to say that there should have been more of the ancient books put into the Bible, then there are a couple of Bibles that they can read. They can read the Catholic version that has at least 7 more books included in the Apocrypha. If they still want more, then they can pick up a Ethiopian Orthodox Bible which has all of the books that the Protestant and Catholic Bibles contain and adds several more. All of these canons are based off of the original Jewish choices for the OT and then the writings of the disciples and apostles.

I have also come to a conclusion about the closing of the canon. The reason that I found for it was that the writings of the NT that were accepted were the writings of disciples, apostles, and others who had a personal encounter with Jesus himself, which is why they accept the writings of Paul. I don't have any problem believing that God directed those who were examining the books to choose those particular books to be included and other's not. But for those who feel that there should or should not be certain books involved, may be also with the belief that the Bible is a compellation of man writing about God, rather than God directly influencing men to write His words. And if they believe that then most likely they are going to pick and choose which books in the Bible that they are going to use and live by anyway. If that is the case then they can pick and choose what ever books, other than in the Bible, that they want to read and live by. It shouldn't matter to them that the books that they like and get inspiration to live by are't in the basic Protestant or even the Catholic Bibles because they have already chosen not to accept everything written in the Bible as straight from God.

Now there might be those that say they do believe that the original Protestant Bible is the inspired Word of God, but why stop there? Why not allow other inspired works be in the canon? And my question would be Why? What added benefit would there be to say that the works of 'such and such' a man or woman are inspired from God and should be in the Canon? Would it give more validity to those writings? Would they add to the person's faith in God? If so, than what is stopping that book from affecting and changing the person's life even if it's not a canonical book? There are some books that I looked at such as Susanna. It was a nice story, but there was nothing in it that I saw added to the message of the Bible that I couldn't get from some other book. I don't need it to be in the basic canon. I can read it for whatever reason whenever I want but that doesn't mean it has to be in the canon. I just don't see the need. For those that would want others in and question the Truth in the Bible, then most likely they are going to question many things about God and it wouldn't matter if Susanna was in or out or any other book. They will question no matter what. If their questioning brings them closer to God then fine.. But if their questioning pulls them away and into more humanistic thought processes, then it won't matter what books are in or out in the end.

So, in a basic conclusion, I am perfectly content with keeping my Protestant Bible and saying that it is the inspired Word of God. If I want to read some of the other books that aren't in the Bible and want to glean from them, then I will. But I will hold them to the Truth I have already found in the Bible.

 

Friday, February 20, 2004

Just to keep everyone up todate with life....



Morgan has an 18th birthday coming up in two weeks!!!




 

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Sometimes I think I should change my blog's name to Grace...

I had an awesome talk today with my sister. It wasn't a real long talk... just a short MSN chat online while she was at work and I was avoiding having to fold clothes. I'm the youngest of 6 and she is 7 years older than me but we tend to be the closest of all the siblings. Which has nothing to do with this post, but I thought I'd throw that in anyway. She met Morgan after work the other day and they had a good chat about all kinds of stuff. One of the subjects that came up was just on how God has been working in our family this last year in regards to values and standards and grace. She has a college age son that is starting to do activities that she has tried to steer him away from while growing up. Mostly, because she engaged in some of them and now she feels they didn't add anything positive to her walk with God. So, now back to my talk with her. She brought up this conversation and teasingly talked about the 'changed' attitude of ours and how she was having a hard time 'letting go' of her son in his activities.
As I talked to her about the situation with her son, it hit me again on some of the attitudes that have changed with me. I told her that even though my standards and morals are still at the same place they always have been, my acceptance of others who have standards different than mine has grown. By leaps and bounds in a lot of areas. I guess I am learning what Grace really is. I have learned how to look past the outward actions, either good or bad, and see the person under them. I think in a lot of ways, I have allowed God to be bigger. I have learned more on how to say to God, "Those are YOUR kids, you deal with them if you want them to change!" I have stopped taking on the role of the Holy Spirit.
A lot of times I have heard the verse, "Man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart." but this last year I really learned more of what that means.

 

Saturday, February 14, 2004

I am so like all over the place!
I never looked me up before! I am rocking!

 

Friday, February 13, 2004

Is Lying Ever Justified?

I started this thread on a forum and it generated a wide variety of thoughts. There were thoughts ranging from Never Lie, ever.. even to spare a loved one or self from torture or death, to it's just a use of the language and neither good or bad but it depends on how you use it. It was a great thought provoking thread.
The more I think about this the more areas I find that I would withhold information in. Maybe you would call it lying, and maybe it is..I don't know. For instance, I refuse to tell the 'honest truth' to my 6 year old when she asks where babies come from. If someone that has been cruel to me or gossips about me, comes and asks how I am or what is happening in my life lately, I am not going to 'honestly' reveal any hardships to that person.
Another thought that came to me was in business. We had a friend that was in the construction business too and he felt that it was best to be completely 'honest' in all business negotiations, meaning if he had no clue on what he was doing, he would be 'honest' and say it to them. He lost many jobs because they didn't trust that he could do the job when it wasn't his ability that was the problem, just his lack of knowledge in that certain area. This is more in line with concealing information rather than putting it in the area of 'lying'.
I think I would always stand for honesty as the best... just not sure as to what extent it all means. It's one of those issues that seems easy on the outside to make resolutions about ..but sticky when I start breaking it down into specifics.

I really dislike immensely the term Love Languages..

But whatever you want to call them, (and I haven't come up with a term I like) it is fascinating to see how people really do reach out in certain ways. I am having fun watching the 'kids' doing this. Carley wrapped up some old shoes of mine and came and gave them to me. I ooh and awwwed. Later I was telling Morgan about it and said, 'Carley loves to give gifts'. To which Carley responded, "Yes, that's how you show someone you love them!". And then she would go up and give the person a hug. I wonder what her first two LL are?

Another example: One girl I know is very frustrated with her family. She complains that all they do is cut her down or just don't spend time with her. Everything that frustrates her has to do with not getting Affirming words, and in not getting Quality Time.



 

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Support and loyalty vs.... Not

I am a very supportive and loyal friend, sometimes to a fault. It's very easy for me to befriend people and try to figure out ways to support them as much as possible (yeah, love language of Service*smile*). But the worst feeling comes when I figure out that my support to someone I care about is not only not necessary, but unwelcome. It makes me feel foolish for supporting in the first place. I know I have enough people in my life that appreciate my support and gift of time, that to give where it is not wanted, seems not only a waste of time, but degrading to me. I want to kick myself because I tend to keep serving even when I know it's not helping or wanted. It's the classic example of "Do not throw your pearls before swine because they will trample over them". I need to keep my 'pearls' of support for those who appreciate them.

 

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Will Wonders Never Cease?!

Mr. Arrogant, who raked Jim over the coals for something Jim cautioned him about and he misunderstood, who is always 'declaring' how great his actions are, etc... actually came up to Jim yesterday and asked Jim for forgiveness. My eyes were huge and my mouth dropped open when Jim told me this. This man almost demanded before that Jim appologise for what Jim had said and made alot of attacks on Jim's character but never admitted before that he had anything to do with the miscommunication. Even though Jim was very angry at the man before, he felt God wanted him to continue to casually talk with Mr. "A" when they were ever together and pray as much as he could for him. We figured there was a breech there that would never be closed. Amazing!

 

Saturday, February 07, 2004

A Major Answer to a Prayer That Wasn't Prayed...

We have struggled for years to get our business going well. Just when it looked like it might become a growing concern, our employees did some stuff that I won't get into here.. and it pretty much took our business down. We had to close it down last spring and just work odd jobs the rest of the year to keep afloat.

In Dec. Jim decided to take some new training to install Solid Surfaces in kitchens and bathrooms. He started to build a garage to have a shop in to make the pieces and all. It wasn't moving as fast as he needed it to, just because in order to work on it, he needed money. And if he was working on it.. he couldn't work somewhere else to make that money. A man loaned him some money to help get the shop finished and this month we paid him back.

Jim was going to ask if he could use that money again to finish the shop but before he had a chance to ask, the man told him that he was thinking and praying with his wife the last week about taking Jim on as a partner. He proposed that he fund the shop and getting the business going, paying us a salary, and Jim would focus on getting this business hopping. (He's a lawyer.. has the money to fund it!).

Wow.. that was definitely an answer to a prayer that we would never have dared to pray. That they would give us a salary, and they do all the bookkeeping (most excellent!), and then just take a percentage of the profit at the end of the year. Plus, Jim thinks this work will be much nicer as he will be out of the Seattle weather, and can be home more often. We've gotten lot's of these kind of unexpected answers lately. Been nice after a dry and stormy last couple of years.

 

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Just an odd and random thought I just had after cleaning various rooms again:

If you decide to have kids, try not to have them until they are at least 10. By then they can pick up after themselves fairly well. If for some reason, you think you need to have the children at a younger age, make sure they come with a maid and a nanny!

 

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

This makes sense!

  • My #1 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, What's Your Love Language? , is Words of Affirmation--You need to hear praise to know you are loved and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Negative comments cut right to the bone. You want to hear that you're loved and how much and why.



  • My #2 result for the SelectSmart.com selector, What's Your Love Language? , is Acts of Service--You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. You feel put-upon and unappreciated when your efforts are taken for granted.



  • *Thanks for the encouragement..both to those online, and in RL.*

    I'm back together today. It's great what a little sleep, and some good friends can do for your outlook on life.
    I have been brainstorming often with people about this self-esteem study I have been working on. Usually, people have been giving me ideas on how to streamline it, or new ideas to put in etc. But yesterday was slightly different. I was sharing just in general with a couple of mom's about the study and some of the new things that I had figure out to put into it. Now, for all intents and purposes I would consider these mom's as good parents. Neither would be classified as harsh or as people in general that wouldn't be an encourager. Which was why I found the conversation we had kind of confusing.
    At one point I was explaining a basic rethinking tool that I learned through a business I was once in, on how to look at who you are and what you do in a positive light rather than looking at what you haven't become or accomplished. I was explaining my viewpoint that it's ok to say you have done a good job on something or that you like something about yourself and it shouldn't be looked at as arrogance.
    It was about then that the first mom disagreed with me. She was saying how she is always telling her teen daughter to not esteem herself so highly. That she needs to be more humble about her appearance and not try to flaunt herself with her looks or what she knows. She doesn't want a child that thinks more highly of herself than she ought. So I interjected with the fact that we need to have 'sober judgment' of ourselves but not a negative view of ourselves. Then another mom added her opinion that she had a teen son that had a very positive view of himself to the point of bragging how great he was. And she didn't like that fact that he would boast about himself. He was arrogant in her opinion.
    But then on the flip-side, we were talking about people who say negative things about themselves in order to get the positive affirmations that they really want. And the first mom was nodding her head and saying I hear that from my daughter and I tell her she's not going to get attention from me by doing that. So now I hear that the daughter can't say negative things about herself.. ie being humble.. but then she can't say positive things because that is boastful. Therein lies the confusion kids feel from their parents.
    So, here's my perspective. We are to have an honest and sober judgment of ourselves. We aren't to be arrogant, meaning putting other's down so as to make ourselves look better. And we are to be humble. There are two examples of humility and meekness that are in the Bible: Moses and Jesus are both considered meek and humble. But if you think of these two men, do you think of people who do not speak out honest truth about themselves? I know that they wouldn't brag about their accomplishments, but they also wouldn't shy away from just saying a truthful assessment of themselves. We should be able to be honest with ourselves and others about the positive things in our lives without it being looked at as a wrong action. Arrogance may need to be tempered.. but I'd rather have to temper too high opinion of someone, then to convience them that they are OK.

     

    Sunday, February 01, 2004

    Not very often I feel this way, but when I do it seems to hit me hard. That I have no purpose.. Or ministry if you will. No one that I really affect or that I really don't make much of a difference. I know that my kids are something I put a lot of effort into and that it's a great thing. I don't doubt that, but it seems like I should be doing more. It's not a reflection on my feelings of life in general, just my usefulness.. It's hard to put it into words. Sometimes it's hard raising kids that are excelling in their activities, and affecting so many with their lives.. I want them to but it seems to make my efforts like a shadow compared to their activities. I ask God if there isn't something He is wanting me to do that would account for more. Or at least give me a sense of achievement. A tangible product. Something that would be mine, and not just looking at other's achievements. For instance, we own a business, but it's not really mine. I just have my name on it and the efforts and praise go to Jim. I hate feeling like I'm complaining and making a mountain out of a molehill. I feel like I am suppose to get a sense of accomplishment from looking at how I've raised these kids.. But sometimes it feels empty. Like the praise still goes to another, and I still sit in the shadows. I'm glad I don't feel like this very often because it's not a very fun feeling.

    *Going to go take pictures of my kids with my new Digital Camcorder*

       

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  • Pic by Morgan at Kabota Gardens, Tukwila, WA.

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